She's My Lifeline but is She Enough?
by iwishiwasunderstood11
Summary: (My life through Spencer and Ashley. It is going to be very close to actual events that happened to me. Spencer is me.) Spencer has been through so much and Ashley saves her from all of it. Will it all be enough when something unimaginable happens?
1. just how it is

She's my lifeline. She saved me and for that I will be forever grateful. Is it enough? I don't know. I've been through so much in my life and she helped me through a whole lot of it and helped me deal with the ugly parts of me and my life and I never thought that we would be sitting on the couch talking to a stranger about our problems and my problems and her problems. Is she worth these empty conversations?

Let me start from the beginning. For you to better understand me let's go back to age 11. Who am I? I'm Spencer Carlin and the girl sitting with me on the couch in this therapist office? That's my fiancé, Ashley Davies. Now this is going to take a while to explain. Here we go.

11 years old: I'm sitting at a table. All alone. First year of middle school. I don't understand. I was popular in elementary school. I had friends. I was a part of clubs and I was the best kid in PE and music class. I don't understand how things changed. Now I'm sitting here in the shade in the courtyard of the most academic school in the city. I live in a midsize town in Alabama. I thought when I got into this school that I would excel. I would thrive and be popular and have the best experience. But none of that is happening.

Anyways so I'm sitting here hiding out because If one more person does something to me I don't know if I can live any more. Things are bad at home and I just can't do this anymore. Oh Gosh. Here comes Madison. She's the worst. She lives to terrorize me. She's an 8th grader. Why she's even bothering me I don't know.

"Hey loser. Come here." "No Madison. Why would I want to come with you?" "Look. I am sorry for the way I have been treating you. Come on. I bet more people would like you if you put on makeup. Come to the bathroom with me and me and my girls will fix you up. We have twenty minutes left of lunch." "Ok fine. But this better not be some joke." "No. I'm done with that. Come on this way. In here." Next thing I know I'm being pushed into a broken stall with a razor being flung under the stall door. They are holding the door shut.

"MADISON. LET ME OUT." "You cannot come out until you have cut yourself 31 times. Because that's the amount of times I wished you were dead. Hold your arm underneath the door so I can count. Better hurry up. Only 15 minutes left." CRAP. Here goes the first cut. The only thought going through my head is that I want to die. Saddest thing is this is not the worst thing Madison and her stupid minions have done.


	2. it's been a journey

13 years old.

I finally escaped Madison. I left the academic excelling school to go back to my old private school. It's still the same but none of the same people are here and I still feel alone. I have two friends. One's name is Jennings. He's a skater guy. He taught me how to skateboard. He is two years older. He's the only person who knows I like girls. Savoy is the other. He is very athletic. He is a year younger. They are my best and only friends.

14 years old.

My mother forces me to go to a youth group at church who torture me. They beat me up on a weekly basis. Jennings died in a car accident a week ago. Between that, my first breakup, abuse, and bullying. I don't know how much I can take.

16 years old.

Savoy died today. He was playing basketball and his heart just stopped. I'm a wreck. Why do all the few good things in my life get taken away from. I went to church summer camp last week. Oh yeah forgot to tell you. Madison is in my youth group. She tied me to my bunk bed with my own sheets and whipped me repeatedly with a semi damp towel. And none of the people around said a word.

17 years old.

There's this girl who lives next door. All I know is her name is Ashley and she is 18. She just moved in. Every day at one sits on her porch and plays guitar. At three, she checks the mail. At five, she leaves. At seven, she returns. It's the same every day. She's a mystery. I can't help myself. I'm so drawn to her. Maybe she can save me.


End file.
